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as if it happening wasn't enough...
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[07 Nov 2006|06:10pm] |
i used to be crushing,
now i'm just crashing.
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| no. no no no no no. |
[24 Oct 2006|02:36pm] |
i need more help than i'm admitting,
and i can't seem to just scream.
this silence is suffocating me,
and i'm fearing the worst.
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[22 Aug 2006|11:05am] |
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every now and then one ear can't hear it just has this high pitched buzz. it's scary and i've never told anyone. i'm telling you guys because... well because it just happened.
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| who are you? |
[29 May 2006|07:07pm] |
if you got here by accident, please know that i hardly ever update this journal, i just use it to check my old communities and comment. however, the link to my myspace is current.
kthanksbye,
julie
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| open letter |
[19 May 2006|06:20pm] |
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mood |
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 bitchy |
] |
stop burning bridges, and drive off of them.
to whom it may concern,
so i had a lot of time to think last night and the strangest thing happened, i had this random burst of confidence. i decided that you know what... maybe i'm not half bad. and maybe what holds me back is me not knowing that. maybe i let people walk on me because i’m trying to please, and maybe, just maybe, i’m over it. so i sit and think and i came to the conclusion- hey, you’re actually pretty awesome. and i’ve got a news flash for everyone who uses it against me (actually it’s not even new, it’s very old. but sometimes old things are good- take cheese for example.) i hope you know the saying fool me once- shame on you, fool me twice- shame on me. because if you don’t know it by now, you’re about to be very well acquainted with it. if you’re unhappy with this letter i personally invite you to move along and try to find someone else out there like me. good luck.
julie
p.s. even reading back over that i feel like an asshole but you know, fuck it. who even knows how long this newfound confidence will last, in all honesty i’m suprised it’s lived long enough to smear itself all across my blog. either way, it felt good for a day.
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| chick movie |
[10 May 2006|05:05pm] |
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"sometimes we love people so much that we have to be numb to it. because if we actually felt how much we love them, it would kill us. that doesn't make you a bad person. it just means your hearts too big."
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| it doesn't matter |
[09 Apr 2006|08:28pm] |
i'm going to do it again tonight
and i know it
and i'm not going to stop it
i'm going to feel it again tonight
and i know i shouldn't
and i don't hate it
i'm really falling this time.
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| tattoo ideas... |
[10 Feb 2006|07:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 contemplative |
] |
| [ |
music |
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sleater-kinney |
] |
so i'm going to vegas for my 21st, which isn't until august (and the trips not actually until september). my friend laurie is going with me. i really can't wait. it's very exciting. i've always wanted to take pictures of the strip in the morning...
anyway, laurie asked me if i wanted to get a tattoo with her while we were there. and i decided that if i can decide on something i like enough, and that means enough to me... i'll do it. i'm just collecting my ideas together here. i'm open for opinions and suggestions...
sankofa meaning return and get it; symbol of importance of learning from the past. (i've actually been thinking about this one for a couple years now. i really like it...)
hermetic seal of light pythagorean philosophy; the circle, the square, and the triangle are the emblems of the material body, the soul, and the spirit. (the three elemnts believed to be necessary for alchemical transformation)..."which brings me to alchemy, the pseudo-science which medieval alchemists thought would lead to the transformation of lead into gold, or lower substances into higher ones. laughable, perhaps, except that some surprising people have taken it quite seriously and seen that it can be used as a metaphor for personal transformation, inner changes and personality development. the alchemists’ goal was to connect to divinity, creating a state of Grace, and mind expansion. this is surely what modern seekers after spirituality and higher levels of consciousness are also trying to do, by following Shamanic teachings, Gurus or undertaking intensive meditation retreats." .... "it can also be perceived as a symbol for the four elements combined with water as the small inner circle, earth as the square, fire as the triangle, and air as the outer circle."
:::: there's more... dinner time... ::::
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[09 Feb 2006|07:38pm] |
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mood |
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 cranky |
] |
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music |
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f.o.b. |
] |
here i am
looking for an apartment
again
...man....
fuck.
i'll be driving around tonight
looking for rent-by-owner signs
hoping for the best
(close... let me keep my kitty...)
i really hate doing this
i'm ready to have a home.
<3
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[14 Nov 2005|02:18pm] |
"its great that you can listen and be a shoulder to someone, but what about when someone doesn't need a shoulder? what if they need the arms or something like that? you can't just sit there and put everyone's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. you just cant. you have to do things."
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[09 Nov 2005|11:46pm] |
DividedSky1984: please......its ok to be mean sometimes
DividedSky1984: and care about julie
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[04 Nov 2005|08:41pm] |
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mood |
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 stressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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amanda clemens "i don't want to be me" |
] |
"this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doc, uh, my brother's crazy; he thinks he's a chicken." And the doctor says, "Well, why don't you turn him in?" The guy says, "I would, but I need the eggs." Well, I guess that's pretty much now how I feel about relationships; y'know, they're totally irrational, and crazy, and absurd, but, I guess we keep goin' through it because most of us... need the eggs. " [annie hall]
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[06 Aug 2005|05:47pm] |
i wish i could sell the truth
because so many people don't have it
but then again
so many people don't want it
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[06 Jul 2005|12:00pm] |
happy birthday cole!
i fucking love you.
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| michael jackson |
[13 Jun 2005|05:42pm] |
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mood |
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 apathetic |
] |
| [ |
music |
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cnn |
] |
cross posted on myspace
me and katelyn talk about the serious issues, and that makes us more scene than you.
in a coma white: they're about to read michael jacksons verdict on tv
Spooned41: i knowww but i'm not near a tv
Spooned41: lemme know :O
in a coma white: they have the fans outside under 'suicide watch'
Spooned41: holy crap really?
in a coma white: count 1- not guilty
Spooned41: dang
in a coma white: conspiracy
in a coma white: count 2... molestation, not guilty
in a coma white: count 3... molestation, not guilty
Spooned41: jesus
in a coma white: same for 4...
in a coma white: this guy's getting off. completely.
Spooned41: fuck. how?!
in a coma white: count 5.... still molestation, not guilty.
Spooned41: wtf
in a coma white: 6 was attempted molestation... not guilty.
in a coma white: count 7... for giving the kid alcohol... not guilty
Spooned41: WTF
in a coma white: same for 8, still alcohol.
in a coma white: same for 9.
in a coma white: and 10... alcohol... what do YOU think?
in a coma white: and did you know katie holmes is now a scientologist?!
Spooned41: wtf
in a coma white: well i mean, she's bangin granpda cruise and he's way into scientology, so it was bound to happen... cults are contagious.
Spooned41: lol
Spooned41: i hate celebrities
in a coma white: i love religions founded by science fiction writers.
in a coma white: i'm surprised he didn't bow when he left the courtroom.
Spooned41: or grab his crotch at least
in a coma white: the very least.
in a coma white: do you care if i post this conversation? haha.. i'm totally asking permission, i lost 12 ninja points for that.
x[heart]x
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[06 Jun 2005|02:26pm] |
the big H.
x ♥ x
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[26 May 2005|12:16pm] |
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mood |
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apathetic |
] |
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music |
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s.sisters // comfortably numb |
] |
it's ok.
don't call me before you go.
your scene friends are more important.
you know...
in a month they won't know who you are.
but i'll always know
who you were.
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[28 Mar 2005|08:24pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 blank |
] |
| [ |
music |
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nothing. it's irritating. |
] |
look mom! we're on the TV!!
http://www.wavy.com/Global/story.asp?S=3132038
poor beer bottle violence, it's always about the guns. they don't tell about the man bleeding from the head, and the one who's stomach has a new hole, sunday was the only night people even GOT bottles. looks like it's plastic cups all around now. good job, animals.
people are so stupid. i've been wanting to quit for weeks now, but didn't wanna leave one of my good friends with all the shifts by herself... but now she says she's gonna quit, so i'm out too. that place should be torn down now, why wait til june? ghetto bitches.
anyway... that's all i've got by way of an update, sorry to leave it hanging.
need me? call me. [757]553.7484
TARA hey, you, ya.... you. go to www.relativetheoryrecords.com, it's an awesome record store in norfolk and they have bands play there.... and i want to see at least ONE of your 8 million in this lifetime.
i will also add that i miss jackiekatelynreesa [it's a mutated superbeast of loooove].
x<3x
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| it's ok now |
[27 Mar 2005|12:04pm] |
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mood |
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 content |
] |
look at you...
...you don't even know.
[this is growing up]
x<3x
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| nick.o.lass is m.i.a. |
[24 Jan 2005|10:09pm] |
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mood |
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bored |
] |
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music |
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clicky clicky clicky |
] |
i'd have to say this is probably the first time i've been alone at nick's for an extended period of time. he spent the night at my place last night because i wasn't really tryin to be by myself, and i didn't know che was gonna stay too. we had fun, total slumber-party style. this morning i went to job #1, the dr's, and then job #2, while they slept on my floor. after all that i took turns taking my sister, then che home. i brought nick back here to portsapeake and he bought me dinner. score. we came to his house, then i took him to work. i was chillin here with mike melody and adam until they all left at 9:40. adam smoked me up before his departure though, score again.
so now it's 10:12 and nick doesn't get off until 2am. i said i'd pick him up so i'm probably gonna stay here til then. if i go home ill get distracted or sleepy. who's to say really?
tomorrow i have all three jobs. laaaaame. i asked jossepy if she'd like to move in. she's gotta discuss it with paulipeeno. cool if she does, cool if she doesn't. i'm gonna tell her if she says yes, like march 1st. that gives me a whole month (that i already have the rent $ for) to get the place in order. it's going from that first-apartment-party-spot to real-apartment. exciting.
im about to boot this kid from my buddylist cuz he wont stop signing off and on and its really starting to piss me off. i know i could turn the sound off, but he could also just stop doing that.
nicks gettin mary.j from work. that's cool... i need more smoking friends. not stupid stoner kids. but happy weed smokers. with some brain cells still intact. know what i mean?
oh ya, so. got drunk friday night... sobered up on a big sombrero in south carolina. weeeeeeird. it was fun though :) pictures to come, as soon as i find my damn USB.
OH MY GOD, JOHN SUCKS. i totally hate that kid. hahaha
i wish nick would get off, like, a million hours early. i'm bored.
ut oh, it's beer-forty. how the time does fly....
alright, i'm gonna stop trying to think of pointless crap to put in this thing. i'm talking to jesse and john now anyway. poor jesse, cant get away from the dreadful WOAH epidemic that's been spreading around LJ like a wildfire. <3s for putting up the effort, when i see you i'm gonna hit you with a circle circle dot dot, just for added protection.
p.s.- your breath smells like dick, and jake's a dandy.
x<3x
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| like... |
[24 Jan 2005|09:13pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 energetic |
] |
| [ |
music |
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sininus, of course. |
] |
so im all what it is?
and hes all blah blah blah
and i'm all BUMP THAT
and hes all im a douche anyway
so im all what's up JESSE?
;)
need i say more?
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broknprmisering's journal
excited
